It's all about you, Baby.
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
—Louise L. Hay
We want you to start thinking of being selfish as fully loving Self. How can you love another without fully loving your Self first? You have creative control over the love in your life, and it must begin with you loving you. The more you practice loving Self, the more the energy of love will open up in your life. When you see yourself as lovable and worthy of love, others will as well, including the one you've been waiting for.
Get a real sense of your access to love. Complete this sentence with as many possibilities that you can think of in five minutes of writing:
When I fully love and accept myself, I'll be able to...
The feeling of worthiness, of invincibility, of purity and freedom—that's you standing in the place of unconditional love and seeing the world from that perspective. It's not a state of mind, it's a way of being. It is your being. You're either in the energy and mindset of love or you are not.
Kick those thoughts to the curb
It's easy to get into a mindset that you are somehow flawed or that there is something wrong with you (or conditions you find yourself facing) that you have not achieved your ideal relationship. You really want it, but it somehow keeps eluding you. As you go through this Course, you are creating a new paradigm in that your story about who you are in relationships is shifting to one that supports a genuine expression of what you want.
If you want to attract the relationship of your dreams, you need to be in love with you first. Don't mistake this for arrogance or conceit. Love is pure acceptance and unconditional appreciation for who you really are. Not what you do or how you act, but for the sole reason that you exist: You Are Love.
It's okay to be selfish
This lesson has a dual benefit. The first is to get you to be in action around finding ways to love Self. The second benefit is that the Selfish Pleasures Play gets you to appreciate Self more by doing the things you love, and it also acts as a distraction from actively noticing that you are NOT YET in your ideal relationship. And this is a key shift that you need to start making: catching yourself thinking about how you're not there yet and what all that means to you, and shifting yourself to a different thought. Distract your mind away from lack—take care of you and don't worry or fuss about it. Everything is on its way to you.
Have you been listening to your Compass Tuner on Love? If not, click here to listen. This Tuner will raise your love energy and help you open up more to love in your life.
Selfish Pleasures Play
Make a list of the things you would do, or would like to do, to spoil, soothe or enjoy yourself. These are “feel-good” activities involving:
- Foods and delicacies
- Dancing, partying or clubbing
- Movie-going or simply reading
- Indulgences and self pampering
- Mental and physical getaways or breaks (say "Yes!" to naps!)
- Creative projects
- New experiences or adventures
- Checking out and getting me-time
- Being lazy
If the item or activity on your list answers yes to the question: “Does doing this activity/thing make me feel better?” it qualifies as a Selfish Pleasure, no matter how seemingly insignificant it is.
From this point forward, do at least ONE SELFISH PLEASURE PER DAY for the duration of the Course.
Optional: If your mood is upbeat and you're feeling good while you are doing your Selfish Pleasure, such as you're feeling hopeful, pleased, satisfied or happy, imagine that your ideal partner is experiencing the activity with you.
For example, if your Selfish Pleasure is going for a walk around the lake on a beautiful day, imagine taking that walk with your love. What does it feel like to hold their hand? How well do you match each other's pace? Do you point out things to one another along the walk? What do you talk about? Do you lose all sense of time? How does the air feel? The light? Imagine these things while you're doing your Selfish Pleasure, and know that it is making more deposits to your "ideal relationship bank."