Life Stimulates New Ideas
Relationships are about taking a leap of faith. That's why it's called jumping in.
—Bob Kelso, Scrubs (Season 8 episode 9 "In My Absence")
Every Experience Counts
Every experience in your life to this point has helped you ask for more. Each one individually and collectively has helped you test waters, determine what you liked and didn't like as well as helped you refine the details with more precision. All of your past encounters, engagements and entanglements (and the future ones yet to come) all help you ride the currents of your precious life experience, and inspire more and more things to be, do and have.
Stages in Creation
The process of creation is simple. However, it has stages that are seldom distinguished or recognized as the best parts of getting what is wanted. It goes something like this:
- You live life and bounce around and have all kinds of experiences
- You observe, perceive and evaluate while you're participating in these experiences
- Your participation inspires within you the desire to experience better, bigger, hotter, faster, healthier, longer, freer, etc. and all that you as a unique desirer can desire for improvement and more variety and the associated emotion that accompanies your new desire is your first manifestation of the creation (this is what grows you and, as a result, expands the Universe)
- Those desires then go into your "desire bank" in the form of invisible, but detectable energy
- That desire bank then holds your ideal until you are ready to experience it (and Compass is helping you become ready to receive all that you desire)
The moment when you have an inspiration to envision or imagine something better is actually the creation. We totally miss this distinct stage. We miss the energy and emotion of that very first creation: the excitement, the anticipation, the eagerness to experience our new and expanded desire. We blow right by it because we're too busy noticing that it's not here yet.
But what if we started noticing? What if we deliberately pointed our attention to our new creation and relished the excitement of anticipation? What if we fully appreciated the life experience that stimulated that new desire? What if we made peace with all of it? What would be available to us?
Savoring the Expectancy of Your Desire
Any mother would agree that once they learn about their pregnancy it becomes about preparation and expectancy. They know this because they have evidence that they will be having a new life to enjoy and love. Aside from the physical challenges associated with pregnancy, mothers (and fathers and grandparents etc.) each eagerly anticipate and patiently await the birth of that wonderful new baby, knowing that it will happen. No wonder it's referred to as "expecting."
The question is, what are you expecting in regards to your ideal relationship? Have you begun the shift toward trusting that what you've put in your "ideal relationship bank" is on its way to you? Are you waiting for evidence before you feel the emotions associated with expectancy? Are you eager, excited, hopeful and joyful about what is on its way to you? Have you realized that you don't have to do anything? That feeling the energy and momentum of anticipation is all that you need feel? That this stage of creation is the first—and most joyful—part of your journey toward getting what you want? Are you savoring the expectancy of your ideal partner? Are you actively appreciating all of the life experiences that have inspired new desires for your perfect ideal?
Being able to properly savor and get excited about what's coming is more accessible when you do the work to appreciate why you're making the choices that you are making today. Looking at your life experiences as the impetus to helping you define what you want today is a way of shifting your energy and attitude about where you are to a more positive place of expectancy.
Life Experiences Play
In this Play, you'll be making peace with past experiences and acknowledging them for the gift of giving you greater clarity and generating new details for the ideal relationship that you're creating today. You'll look back at the events and experiences that you've had that triggered desires (whether something you didn't want in your ideal relationship or something you really, really want) that are helping you create your ideal today. You'll first do a quick brain dump list to capture the characteristics, and then you'll look at each and mine where that desire came from (as there is always an impetus) and write a brief story about what happened.
The next step will be to storyboard snapshots (one or several, your choice) of that experience (stick figures encouraged). The final step is to review each and then write what you appreciate about having that experience or making that observation as it helped you arrive at your new desire and what you're creating today.
- LIST the details that you are gathering about what you want in your ideal relationship.
- Consider each and write a brief STORY about what life experience you lived or observed in the past that generated the specifics of your desire.
- STORYBOARD one or several scenes pulled from that past experience as snapshots reflecting the event that stimulated your new desire.
- Review each experience and write a brief APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY of all that the experience gave you and how it inspired your new desire.
- LIST: I want to be with a man who is guilt-free and complete with his past relationships.
- STORY: Bob was always preoccupied with his two daughters from his first marriage and constantly trying to manage what was going on with them. He carried this guilt because he divorced the mother of his children and felt he abandoned them. As a result, he was never able to fully step into being present with me, and always carried this sadness around with him like a shroud.
- STORYBOARD: Snapshot #1: Bob preoccupied about what was going on with his daughters when they were struggling with their mother about graduation. Snapshot #2: Me giving Bob advice on how to let go that fell on deaf ears. Snapshot #3: Me frustrated with Bob, not feeling important to him and that he preferred his ex-life over our life.
- APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY: Being with Bob and sharing in his struggle with his love for his daughters helped me become more aware of the challenges people have when they end marriages but don't get complete with the relationship so they can move forward. I also appreciate that I was able to have this experience and witness his love for his daughters and desire to be an important part of their life, even though he didn't live with them anymore. I appreciate that he tried to be there for me and that he did gain some value from the coaching that I provided. I learned that no amount of advice will turn someone around and get them to be that person you need them to be. I love that I had the experience with him and that it helped me be a more understanding partner and know that it doesn't always have to be all about me, and that everyone has a past experience they are shaped by. For Bob, this experience for him has helped him grow as a person as well, and for me, it has helped me look at aspects of myself such as why I need to feel so important. This has all been of value and I love what the experience has done for me as well as helped me desire to have a partner who is more complete about their past and has healthier relationships with their ex and their children.