Can You Believe That?
If a belief is not realized immediately in open deeds, it is stored up for the guidance of the future.
—William Kingdon Clifford
Uncovering Core Beliefs
Understanding how to achieve our ideal relationship situation is often a struggle because we:
- Haven't properly clarified the specific details we want in our partner
- Are unsure that we can even attain that ideal person in our life
- Are not deliberately controlling our thoughts about our relationship situation
- Primarily focus on what we don’t want or want to avoid in a partner
- Doubt our worthiness or ability to deserve the ultimate love relationship
Many of these beliefs are not conscious to us, however they run us as if they are fact and reality. Our expectations hit a glass ceiling as to what we really feel we deserve or can obtain. In the next three Plays, you will uncover these beliefs and dispel misconceptions about what you want and learn new, powerful processes for being more conscious and deliberate about your beliefs. You will take charge of your thinking and apply intentional focus, allowing inspired action to help you move closer to your ideal and enjoy the journey toward finding that perfect love experience. It's time to write your new relationship story!
Retraining the Mind
It's time to retrain your mind to focus on what you do want and away from what you don’t want in your ideal relationship. You are going to practice intentional thinking, a method of consciously directing thought that not only makes you feel better, but aligns you with the results you want in getting that person in your life so you can love more fully.
In the beginning, there is desire. You shape and adjust your desires based on personal preferences, both consciously and unconsciously. This thought process awakens certain beliefs about achieving your perfect partner, and those beliefs are held as your personal truth. This set of beliefs orients your focus to whether or not you can attain your truest love, and as we covered in an earlier lesson, those beliefs are metered by your emotions.
For example, you have your romantic desires and you have your beliefs about your ideal love. When you doubt that you'll find that person—for whatever reason—the beliefs driving that doubt give rise to negative emotions such as depression, frustration and resignation. With beliefs that bring about negative emotion, there is a tendency to dwell on drawbacks, shortcomings, lack of experience, inability to solve how to get there, feelings of "not good enough," thus spiraling down into more of what you don’t want: failure of attaining the right relationship for you. Sound familiar?
People who foster positive beliefs around their desire attract inspired action which results in the eventual meeting of their ideal loves. You know these people. They are the success stories, the decades-long marriages, the couples who seem to have had Cupid himself bring the two of them together. To their core, they truly believe that their partnering was the natural and logical next step. As a result, it’s easy for them to focus on being in their ideal relationships because they believe their ideal is possible.
The key here is focus. Most of us don’t realize we can change our beliefs by changing our thinking.
But what are beliefs?
They are ideas, concepts or notions we agree or disagree with and hold as a personal truth until we say otherwise.
But what are ideas, concepts or notions?
Hence, if beliefs are really just thoughts we’ve chosen to agree or disagree with, we can change them.
See how we’re really the ones in control here?
When we intentionally focus on what we want, we feel better. We are excited. We are eager. And, with trust, we learn to enjoy the journey there more profoundly. We open ourselves to insights that inspire us to action. And when we achieve our goal, there’s nothing more satisfying because we know deep down that we were the creators from the very beginning. This is what Compass does for you: it gives you the framework to creatively shift your thinking so that it supports and pulls you toward what you want.
Belief Barrier Play
In this Play, you're going to learn a powerful process to uncover the limiting beliefs you have around obtaining your ideal love relationship. In the next lesson, you'll do two more Plays that will help you reframe your limiting beliefs and write a new story that opens up the pathways to getting the love you want.
- Create a mind map of the negative beliefs and/or doubts that arise when you think about attaining your ideal relationship. Consider these questions to uncover your limiting beliefs:
- Why do I think I can't have my true love?
- What if there aren't any soul mates?
- What are the conditions or challenges I face in meeting my ideal?
- What am I saying about myself that is keeping me stuck?
- What am I saying about potential partners that is keeping me stuck?
- Pay attention to what feelings come up as you do this Play.
- So you don't let the energy you stirred put you in a negative frame of thinking until you get the next lesson (which will do serious damage to the above limiting beliefs), take a few moments to read this Belief Promise from Compass (but do this AFTER you've completed this Belief Barrier Play.):
We promise that you will find your center. That you will realize that by taking the steps you are taking here in this Course and in this work, you are finally ready to elevate your outlook on regarding your ideal relationship. That you will become more excited, engaged and enthusiastic about what is ahead. That you will begin to feel better and experience signs of real relief that where you stand today is only temporary.
That you have learned so much about yourself, being in relationships, partnering, and how to love. That you truly feel self love, and that you understand that you are on a journey that is unfolding in perfect time and in a perfect way. All will be revealed to you, and you will realize very soon that where you are is a blessed place of learning and being.
This will help your energy soften and lighten between now and the next lesson where you'll experience a true breakthrough in creating your new story.
- Compass Tuner: Love